My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I want to fling myself into the sun
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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