I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Sorry my hands just texted you
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
