Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
