I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
