he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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