so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
