Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
i wish my penis had a tongue
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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