Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
