just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Randomize
