i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
The beer is more important than you right now.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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