I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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