perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
