apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
