she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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