R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
