I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Randomize
