please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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