can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
