i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize