I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
