yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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