THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Randomize
