Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
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