Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Randomize