My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
