God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Randomize
