I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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