He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
