Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
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