but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize