Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
she peed on how many people?
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
