Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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