No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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