I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
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