the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
