Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
