There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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