I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
