There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
