so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
