I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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