You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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