dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
