I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
