i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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