What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
This gyro tastes like lonliness
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Randomize
