corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Randomize
