It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
me + whiskey = a bad person
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
