she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Randomize
