ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Randomize
