Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
