So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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