went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I got inside last night via doggy door
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
