I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Randomize
