how hairy? two words: wookie tits
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
