On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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