My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
