The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Randomize
