i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
