i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
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