Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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