I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Who did Billy Mays play for?
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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