I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I faked an abortion last night.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Randomize
