Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Randomize
