Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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