Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
